For most of us, an act of self-care seems like too much time, money and energy.

And a little selfish when you have an entire family/household to take care of, a business to run, a church to pastor and a job to go to all while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

We don’t even have a social life, let alone a self-care routine.

What if I told you already have everything you need?

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Here’s a few tips:

• Airplane Mode: As a millennial I have to start here, because I literally sleep with my phone and I’m on it literally ALL day for work and play. But, every summer I fast from social media and it is so cleansing for me. So, now instead of fasting. I airplane mode and unplug. I unplug from everything for at least an hour a day, where I don’t have to be accountable to anyone but myself.
• Prioritize: You should be the first thing on your to-do list every single day. Periodt.
• Go Balls to the walls: The other day I heard Myleik Teele, of the Mytaught You podcast say, “going balls to the walls is self-care”. Now I didn’t listen to the whole IG Live beyond that sentence, but I took it to mean this. Go after what you want. While you work, you WORK! Give it your all, so when you need to rest you ain’t thinking about anything left to do. You rest for real.
• Quiet Solitude: With noise comes a whole lot of confusion and commotion. Shut your door at work, go in your closet, linger on the potty, sit in your car for a little bit without the sound on. Just five minutes of silence and/or meditation can work wonders for calming the mind and body.
• Go outside: Walk around the block, sit on your porch, take a few minutes to breathe in  some fresh air. Clean air rejuvenates you and a little vitamin D ain’t never hurt nobody. HELLO MELANIN!
• Breathe: Throughout the day listen to your breath. Are you breathing fully and deeply? What I noticed is that often I was holding my breath or hyperventiliating full of anxiety without even knowing it. My old assistant use to know how my day was going by the sound of my breathing. When you get your breathing in rhythm, you get in rhythm.
• Move your body: Now this does not mean exercise, because I’m just two days in the gym and I hate it already, but I’m gonna keep going ugh! This means move. Get up off your ass! Stretch, dance if you wanna, laugh, walk around the mall or shopping center(window shop), and/or my personal fav have some good safe-consensual sex.
• Morning and bedtime routine: Plan out a wake up and sleep time you can commit to. During those times, let it just be about you mentally and physically preparing. In the mornings, I wake up by 5:30am, shower, write, listen to a podcast, (now gym ugh) and always do my makeup because those things help me feel good about me. Bedtime, I haven’t mastered yet because my work schedule used to always be crazy af. But, if I had my wish this is what it would be–Again, not accounting for anyone except me…An hour before bed prepare my clothes for the next day, watch some tv or read, pray, drink some tea and go to sleep by 9pm.
• Slow down: Be in a hurry for nothing. Probably the hardest for me because I have a tendency to be impatient. What I noticed is when I prioritized myself and planned out my mornings especially, I eased into my days and experienced more joy. I was calmer, more alert, more active and more effective. My days now don’t feel so rushed because I allowed myself more time, by slowing down.
• Listen: Listen to a podcast, watch a youtube video, create a self-care playlist, call someone you trust so you can be listened to.
• Boundaries: The most important. People that are unhealthy for your life(and you know who they are), decrease or stop communicating with them. They could be amazing people, but not good for you. Take them off of your social media feed or block them if need be. I don’t care if they are family members(their typically the most toxic), Stop enabling them with your emotions, time and hard ass earned money. You’ll see that they will realize their own boundary and leave you tf alone.(Ya’ll see I got a lot to say about this boundaries..I’ll write more about this soon.)

None of these cost you a dime.

Mostly, I just want you to be more tender with you. I want you to do this not because you deserve it, but because you need to in order to gain peace. To declutter, to re-calibrate and refocus. Nothing runs on empty, especially not you. Time is our greatest resource and you can choose what to do with it. Stop doing shit out of responsibility and obligation. Stop doing shit because you don’t wanna hurt other folks feelings. Stop doing shit because you think it’s expected and acceptable.

Choose you for once sis.

Everything you seek is already seeking you.

-Dominique